Here are so many points of separation, apart and away. A tear that wells up and falls, another wave that rises and drops. Under an exalted Moon in Taurus ruled by an exiled Venus, I reach still toward connection - my body wrapped in the lapping waters, the sun hot on my face, my sister at arms length.

Deciding that we are now choosing connections because we want, not because we were chosen first.

Imagine taking responsibility for what we actually want.

“But I have 20% pampering. Nice strong cigarette, nice strong coffee, nice dark chocolate. Otherwise life is gray. You need some pampering.”

Whenever I remember to, I walk into his garden to eat three kumquats straight from the tree and climb onto the trampoline, reaching my hands towards the clouds.

A year and a half later, at Emerald Bay Beach, my father picks up a piece of putat laut fruit and twirls the stem between his right thumb and index finger, his left hand turning the rest of the fruit.

I walk through Galada Tamboore (creek waterhole in Woi-wurrung). I stop at the edge overlooking the floodplains and spot several kangaroos.